Nelson Morales

How to ask for financial forgiveness from family and friends

Article (news)

Aneth Ng-Lim

<p>Money has a way of making even the closest relationships awkward. In a recent get-together, the name of a former classmate who has borrowed money from nearly everyone around the table came up, and the tense silence that followed reminded me about financial forgiveness.</p><p>Maybe you forgot to pay back a small loan.  Or your promise of “next week” turned into “next month,” even “next year.” Or you told others about the loan and somehow managed to make the debtor look bad.  </p><p>When a debt remains unpaid or a commitment is not met as promised, it can create discomfort, disappointment, and loss of trust. These situations are never easy, but owning up to them with a sincere and respectful approach can help heal relationships with family and friends.</p><p>Start 2026 with a clean slate by asking for financial forgiveness. It won’t be easy, and yes, it may cost you (by paying back a long-forgotten loan) but you can’t avoid responsibility forever.  Here are some tips to get you started.</p><div><strong>#1 Take full responsibility</strong></div><p>If you want forgiveness, you have to start with an apology.  Open with “I’m sorry for not paying on time or not paying at all.”  People are far more willing to forgive when they feel you’re not dodging responsibility.</p><p>Avoid excuses like “I was busy” or “I had to pay another loan” or “there was a family emergency.”</p><div><strong>#2 Acknowledge how it may have affected them</strong></div><p>When you borrow money, you need to realize that the person who lent it to you prioritized your need over theirs.  Don’t assume that they had extra funds lying around and you can have it for as long as you like.</p><p>Years ago, my husband lent money again to someone who never pays him back.  That meant our family could not go on our annual vacation that year.  While we could skip a vacation for one year, what rankled is the person did not even recognize the loss we suffered for lending him money, again.</p><p>As a borrower, you need to understand that your loan and payment delay might have caused stress, inconvenience, or even hardship.</p><div><strong>#3 Be clear about the money you owe</strong></div><p>When asking for financial forgiveness, make sure to state the amount and when it was borrowed. This reassures the other party that you are approaching the matter seriously and honestly.</p><p>It’s possible what you remember may not be accurate.  The amount could be less, or more, or you may have forgotten one more loan.  This gives you and the debtor the chance to clarify and move on transparently from there.</p><div><strong>#4 Offer a practical repayment plan</strong></div><p>If you have an outstanding loan, it’s good to approach the debtor with a new payment plan, in case you still can’t pay everything back right away.  It could be a weekly or a monthly schedule.  </p><p>Considering the delay, reliability is now more important than speed.  What matters is you show your intent to fulfil your obligation.</p><div><strong>#5 Follow through, no matter how small the amount</strong></div><p>Consistent payments will show your effort, and in case things become tight, try to still pay even with a smaller amount.  And this time, send a message or a quick update why.  </p><p>Nothing is worse than being ghosted by a borrower, and putting the debtor in a difficult position to track you down and demand payment.</p><p>Money mistakes can strain relationships, but they can also become moments of growth. When you approach the situation with humility and commitment, you’re not just asking for financial forgiveness but also earning back trust, one payment at a time.</p>

<p>Maybe you forgot to pay back a small loan. Or your promise of “next week” turned into “next month,” even “next year.”</p>

Maybe you forgot to pay back a small loan. Or your promise of “next week” turned into “next month,” even “next year.”