Andi Eigenmann | Photo from @andieigengirl

When 2025 began, Andi Eigenmann promised herself she'd reclaim her spark. Last year was a tough time for this mom of three because her mother, veteran actress Jaclyn Jose, passed away on March 2, 2024. 

"It's been difficult losing my mom," Andi told Metro.Style, her voice cracking as tears welled in her eyes. "I feel like after a year of not having her around or not hearing her voice, it made me realize that I was just in autopilot mode since she passed away. I wasn't okay, but I have children. And so I pretty much lived every day in survival mode."

She unpacked this realization when the topic of self-love was brought up. Admittedly, she hasn't been the best version of herself. Many believe in the saying that "you can't take care of others if you can't take care of yourself." For Andi, her family is her priority, so she has somehow powered through by "just getting done or just fulfilling my responsibilities." But self-care had to take a backseat, as she struggled to sit with her feelings. 

"I just stopped caring about the way I looked," Andi Eigenmann opened up. "Even if I was getting the job done and taking care of my children or being a partner to my husband, I feel like there's always going to be something lacking or that you lack if you don't start from yourself. If you don't fill your cup first, how can you fill other people's cups? So I feel like somehow that's what was going wrong, for lack of a better word, it's that I've forgotten about myself. I was just doing what I needed to do." In a way, she was merely going with the flow and going through the motions while carrying the burden of losing a significant and irreplaceable part of herself. 

Andi and her kids Ellie, Lilo, and Koa with her mother, Jaclyn Jose, back in December 2021 | Photo from @andieigengirl

But Andi added that, now, she can attest even more to the fact that "self-care is important, especially for mothers." So, this year, she vowed to pick herself up and put together her broken self. After all, she knows her mom would've wanted her to stay strong for her family and not let pain hinder her from fulfilling her purpose. 

"This year, I said to myself, I'm going to make an effort. Yes, there's no timeline when it comes to grief. You never get over it. But I don't have to waste my time not caring about myself or being sad. I can start making an effort now," Andi said. 

Journaling is one of the ways that has been helping her cope with grief and heal. She revealed that she likes drawing and putting stickers on her journal entries, too. She shared, "I feel like the difference is that my forms of self-care now are much simpler than they were before. So it's a matter of just getting some time to sit here at my table and do some journaling. Or just going out to eat with my family at our favorite Korean restaurant. Even going to the gym with my husband, following him to the gym. Before, my fitness goals would be like, 'I want to join my husband, who is a professional athlete. And I want to try to challenge myself also to achieve a goal.' Now, I come with him and I tag along for myself. I like doing it. It makes me feel good. It's my self-care."

Photo from @andieigengirl

With the influence of her partner, Philmar Alipayo, surfing has also become a huge part of Andi's lifestyle. "Lately, I've been able to tag along with my husband's daily routine of going for a sunrise surf," she shared.  

Patting herself on the back, Andi also gushed about achieving a milestone in surfing, which she only started getting into in her 30s. A few days ago, she finished a surfing competition in Siargao and placed sixth. It was an all-women's international competition; it was her third time participating in such a competition, but it was her first time placing.

This achievement reminded Andi of what her mother used to tell her: "Que sera, se ra [whatever will be, will be]. Whatever your heart desires, you can do it, you can achieve it." 

Realizing how powerful that advice from her mom is, Andi started getting emotional again during this conversation. She continued, "Because it's true, you know, whatever it is that your heart desires, if you put some effort into it, into achieving it, manifesting it—you know, have a little faith—you'll achieve it. Tiwala. It's so cool because I feel like that was one of her most gasgas quotes."

When she was younger, she didn't understand or notice the random quotes and mantras her mother would tell her. But now that she's a mother herself, juggling motherhood with fortifying that sense of self, Jaclyn's life lessons make so much sense. 

"She built me up like a mountain at sunrise and painted my sky with gentle hands. And when she told me I could be anything, I believed her because I saw how much I could grow with even a little of her light."—Andi Eigenmann wrote as a tribute to her mom

Jaclyn may have passed on, but the lessons she imparted to her daughter will forever remain not only in Andi's heart but also in the hearts of her children, whose lives were touched by their grandmother.

"Every day, I'm doing my best to honor her. Every decision I make or everything I do with my life, I'm always just thinking, 'I wonder what she would say. I know this is what would make her feel.' And you know, it helps me. It helps me cope," Andi opened up. 

This is why, instead of avoiding talking about her mom to run away from pain, Andi prefers having conversations with her kids about Jaclyn. "Ellie and I do like talking about my mom. It's mostly me who mentions her to her because I'm trying to sort of use that as a way to help me," she said. 

Jaclyn Jose and Andi Eigenmann at the Cannes Film Festival in 2016. | Photo from @andieigengirl

Andi feels like her mom is helping her "parent Ellie even from heaven." As a tween who's discovering more about herself, there are times when Ellie wouldn't listen to Andi. "If I give her an incident where my mom said something related to that topic, she'd listen," she shared. 

Lilo, according to Andi, tends to bring her grandmother up in the most mundane times and the most random times. She revealed, "Lilo had a fondness for my mom because whenever we would come visit, she would have all the seaweed there. And Lilo loves seaweed."

Andi would also regale Lilo with stories about Jaclyn. Andi recalled, "My mom has all these fancy shoes, fancy bags, all this makeup. And I tell Lilo, she's a movie star. And Lilo is so fond of that... She likes to bring up my mom and ask me about her. And she also likes to say that she misses Nanay."

As a movie star, Jaclyn inspired Andi to follow in her footsteps. Though Siargao-based for years now, this celebrity mom said she won't have qualms traveling or coming home to Manila if she finds the right project that won't compromise her time with her family.

"The thing is, the catch is, I'm game. But I'm not game enough to be gone for a long time, especially being away from my kids for a long time," she said.

Andi added, sharing her thoughts on a project she's likely to take on, "I'm just chill. Like, if it works, it works. If it doesn't, it doesn't. But I feel like maybe something that is appropriate for my age or where I'm at."

"My mom would call me Marimar," she quipped, saying that it's been her dream role since she was little. "Something where I feel, if it wasn't acted by me, then it wouldn't work as well. Something like that. That would be great. But I feel like, you know, I didn't do half of what my parents did for me to be remembered by everyone. But to make something that's actually designed for me would be great."

Marimar in her surfer era, boldly riding big waves, why not?! Regardless of what role she'll take on in showbiz in the future, Jaclyn would surely be proud of Andi in heaven, knowing that her daughter is now a mother raising kids as strong, brave, and cool as Andi. 

Photo from @andieigengirl

In February, a few days before her mother's first death anniversary, Andi Eigenmann got a palm leaf tattoo, symbolizing strength, victory, and eternal life. 

Sharing how Jaclyn Jose embodies each of those symbols, Andi pondered, "I've come to realize that there is no better way than to take a good look at this life that she gave me—the best gift she could give—and to continue to treasure and cherish it by living it the best way I know how just as she would always want me to."

Interview by Geolette Esguerra

Lead photo from @andieigengirl