A couple sits along the breakwater on Manila Bay as storm clouds gather on the horizon. Jonathan Cellona, ABS-CBN News/File 

MANILA – "Multo" from Cup of Joe's debut album "Silakbo" is going around as the relatable anthem for people caught on trendy TikTok contents about "relapsing" on one's ex. 

Charting at top 181 at the Billboard Hot 200, "Multo" remains in tune and on loop, and even celebrities like Enchong Dee and Marvin Agustin are caught in the "hindi na makalaya" trance.

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With the hauntingly familiar memories brought upon and anew by the song, the question is: what can one do when feeling trapped by their "multo"? 

According to relationship coach Alicia Therese Serrano, the trend posits an ongoing discourse that empowers individuals to share their personal experiences and takes on "pestering exes."

"This trend shows how common it is to struggle with an ex who still lingers. I think it's great that people have these avenues to open up about relationship experiences and learn about what others go through," she said. 

Seeing how "relapsing" has been the common denominator of posts using the Cup of Joe song, Serrano reminded: "Reminiscing about a past relationship is more like a bump in the road than a dead end. It doesn't necessarily doom anyone into never healing and moving on, but it can be a distraction from the progress someone can make. This is because it takes attention away from the present life."

So how do you cope? Serrano enumerated a two-part plan for those finding themselves ready to be free from this hauntingly frozen state. 

First, one must learn to manage their present feelings, and this involves validating and acknowledging your own emotions. 

"This can mean devoting a few minutes to letting the feelings just be so that you can move through the experience and not get stuck in the feeling of missing someone. It's much like pressing the 'play' button on something–you will have to go through a potentially challenging feeling, but it also means getting to the end of it," Serrano explained.

Second, one ought to assess their situation and work on their problem-solving. This involves making the best decision for oneself moving forward. 

"You have to be honest with yourself if there is still a desire to connect or if there is any unfinished business with this person. If the answer is yes to either of those, then you have to figure out if you want to act on that desire and if doing so will be good for you in the long term," Serrano said.

"While reminiscing about a past relationship is usually unhelpful, it is important to have grace and compassion when it does happen," she added. 

With most "Multo" listeners asking the same questions as in the song ("Di mo ba ako lilisanin? Hindi pa ba sapat pagpapahirap sa 'kin?"), the ultimate question is: "How does one know if they should reunite with their exes?"

Serrano summarized the main considerations into two: the goodness of your fit now, and your shared history. 

"Your previous relationship with this person ended for one reason or another. It's important to make sure that this second try will not end up like the first," she stressed. 

At the end of the day, one is not expected to heal in the same environment that has hurt them. And while facing your "multo," it is important to realize that moving forward can mean leaving your ghosts behind and facing the unknown. 

"Sometimes there is nothing to solve–you simply get reminded of some good memories and need to let the feelings out. What is important is that you have a good grasp of your situation so that you can do what is right for you," Serrano affirmed. 

To those haunted by their "multo," perhaps the best way to tap back into reality is to choose to turn on their own lights and be the ones to free themselves. 

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