MANILA -- Actress Dina Bonnevie this week marked her first birthday after the death of her husband Department of Agriculture (DA) Undersecretary Deogracias Victor "DV" Savellano. 

In a lengthy Instagram post on Tuesday, Bonnevie described Savellano's passing on Jan. 7 as the most traumatic and most painful experience in her life.

She shared that she asked God for an explanation for the death of her husband, who she said had "lived a Christ-centered life." She admitted that she felt hurt, betrayed and angry over his passing.

"I pondered upon the recent events in my life… starting the year with the death of my husband which was not only the most painful experience in my life, but the most traumatic," Bonnevie said. 

"What did God want me to do, and where did He want me to be? Couldn’t I still fulfill my purpose with my husband? What did I still have to do without a spouse?" the actress added.

"I looked up to God in prayer, at the same time demanding a fair explanation. I was hurt, felt betrayed, angry, and lost in my misery." 

She added that she "dreaded" turning 63 last Monday, "my first birthday without my husband and nothing to celebrate."

But she said that God allowed her to celebrate the eve of her birthday together with her mother-in-law and sisters-in-law, who whipped up "hefty servings of home cooked Filipino food." She added that her stepchildren also invited her "to a steak and lamb dinner like we usually do, when DV was alive."

"We bonded and shared stories and I didn’t feel alone at all," she said. 

"The morning of my birthday, I was crying, hoping to see the usual tulips my husband would wake me up to; but God provided me a wonderful bouquet of orchids from Helen Gamboa, an ex sister-in-law I haven’t seen or spoken to in a long time," she added. 

She later spent the day with her son, sister, grandchildren. 

"I thought, DV won’t be singing for me today; but God made me listen to exceptional piano renditions by my grandsons. They were so good that it brought tears to my eyes. I am so blessed and proud of them! I spent the afternoon and evening talking to them, playing with my youngest grandson, hugging him and kissing him and I felt comfort with him in my arms," she said. 

"Then finally my grandchildren gave me letters just when I was about to retire. Reading those comforting and assuring letters of love brought not only tears to my eyes, but a realization of how ungrateful I was to question God and focus on my loss and not notice the many little miracles and provisions He provided along the way." 

She said her birthday made her feel "grateful and sorry for asking God to explain matters to me." 

"I am reminded of my faith in Him that should remain unwavering, despite life’s challenges. I am grateful for having thoughtful sisters-in-law, loving sisters, understanding stepchildren, caring children and loving grandchildren. God takes care of widows, he never leaves those who abide in Him," she said. 

Bonnevie and Savellano got married in 2012.

Dina Bonnevie shares details of wake, burial of husband Deogracias Savellano

Agriculture exec Deogracias Victor 'DV' Savellano passes away

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