Patricia Lasaten and Agnes Reoma in 'Paninindigan Kita' music video. Screenshot from Ben&Ben's YouTube channel.

MANILA — When the music video of "Paninindigan Kita" by Ben&Ben featured the love story of keyboardist Patricia Lasaten and bassist Agnes Reoma during Pride Month in 2022, the OPM band's listeners rejoiced and celebrated their love for each other.

From a love story, their relationship becomes a testament of how queer relationships can be highlighted in art.

The short but strong five-minute clip came with challenges -- but with it, big and sweet milestones. The couple discussed with ABS-CBN News how the music video became an inspiration to queer couples and helped them be proud of their relationships.

STARTED AS BEST FRIENDS

Reoma and Lasaten first met in college at St. Scholastica's College, Manila as members of their school's music organization and started as "best friends."

"Very involved kasi kami sa org noon. So kapag kunwari may mga projects, ewan ko, ako gusto ko kasi 'yung ganun e. Gusto ko kasi nagwo-work. So kapag may mga projects I would usually volunteer, or I would usually initiate na 'hey tutulong ako.' Tapos siya rin," Lasaten told ABS-CBN News in an interview.

"Tapos most of the time nagse-spend kami ng time sa org office namin dati na mag-o-organize ng files, tas 'yung lang. Tapos naging close na kami from there," she added.

Lasaten admitted that at that time she already had a crush on Reoma.

"Ako crush ko siya noon pero straight siya e so hindi ko siya inano diba? I mean … Pwede naman (magcrush e?) normal naman 'yun e. Pero hindi ako nag-aact on the feeling kasi 'yun nga alam ko nga straight siya," Lasaten said.

As she came to terms with her sexuality, it was through the question and answer network Ask.fm that Reoma confessed her feelings to Lasaten.

"Kasi feeling ko hindi kami like swak as people. Parang ganun. Pero like when we play together, masaya siya. So parang ganun din 'yung mood. So yung the way I play bass and the way Pat played keyboards that time. Sobrang nag-swak lang siya," Reoma said.

"Nung time na rin kasi parang, hindi pa ako truly out sa sarili ko. As in, parang, I think 'yung first level na parang dapat ikaw muna, comfortable ka kung sino ka. And bago sa'kin lahat ng ideas. 'Yung feelings nga itself. Kaya hindi ko alam kung saan ilalagay 'yung feelings. Kaya yun yung nag-resort ako to like, putting it sa Ask.fm," she added.

"I thought kasi at that time na parang, oh, may feelings ako. Baka 'pag sinabi ko siya or ni-let go mo. Baka 'pag naiiyak ka, 'pag iniiyak mo, mawawala na siya. So, nung time na 'yun, 'yun ang iniisip ko."

Lasaten recalled Reoma's words saying: "Hi, crush kita pero ayoko sabihin kasi ayoko ma-ruin 'yung friendship."

"Sobrang nagulantang yung mundo ko kasi, Teka, di ba straight ka? Bakit ganun? E kinabukasan, parang mag-meet kami. So tinatry ko siya hulihin," she added.

Reoma was thankful to Lasaten for helping her navigate her feelings.

"Kasi nga, sobrang wala siya sa concept ko, growing up from a religious family. Tapos, from a community na hindi naman, as in, first, lahat sa akin yung term na yun. So, hindi siya madaling transition for me. Like, it took me like, months," Reoma said.

"Buti naman eh si Pat, parang gets din niya. Kasi siya naman, since bata pa siya, grade school, high school, you know na who you were. Tapos parang ako, lahat siya bago sa akin," she added.

For Lasaten, all she had to do was to accept Reoma and help her with her journey.

"Ako 'yung mas matagal ng out. So medyo mas gets ko na 'yung kung sino ako. And I tried to look at the whole situation from her perspective na kaka-out niya lang, kaka-out niya lang sa'kin. And very small pa lang 'yung circle of friends na nakakaalam na na-queer siya," Lasaten said. 

"Ako in-accept ko lang talaga. Oo, kasi totoo eh. Kasi hindi mo naman mapipilit eh. Tsaka kanya-kanyang journey naman 'yan. Pero syempre, like nung una," she added.

While there were challenges at first, Lasaten is proud of how Reoma embraced her identity.

"Nung una, parang kapag meron kami makakasalubong na mga friends, ide-deny niya talaga na kami ganon... S'yempre masakit sa'kin 'yun," Lasaten said.

"Pero eventually, in fairness naman sa kanya, bino-voice out ko naman kasi na naka-hurt ako. Pero at the same time, bino-voice out ko din na pero naiintindihan ko. So go at your own pace."

"So eventually, in fairness naman sa kanya, she really did the work. And proud ako dun sa kanya sa part na 'yun. Kasi, syempre ang hirap kaya noon," she added.

"I mean, as a baby gay. Tapos parang months later, biglang nagsasabi ka na na, 'Shucks guys, queer pala ako. Kami ni Pat.' I tried to look at it talaga from her perspective." 

For Reoma, it helped that Lasaten didn't pressure her in the process.

"Sobrang nakatulong din na I didn't feel yung pressure from her side. Na hindi ko ever nag-feel. Kasi may mga ganun stories 'yung di ba parang mag-out ka or parang wala nito. So parang nandun lang 'yung alam kong safe ako sa relationship namin," Reoma said.

"Kasi wala akong kailangang patunayan. Kasi I'm just being truthful lang din naman sa iyo na parang na I’m at this space right now, I'm not sure if kaya ko sabihin to anyone. Like to my family or to other people outside this like super close na friends. Pero 'yun nga parang as in dahan-dahan siya, years talaga siya."

"Until yung MV talaga 'yung parang, like the boss level. 'Yun na yung boss level of like coming out," she added.

READ: Ben&Ben’s Agnes Reoma, Pat Lasaten are engaged

'HARD LAUNCH'

Despite their shared passion for music, it was not in Reoma and Lasaten's plans to be together in Ben&Ben. Stars aligned, however, as they were both tapped by Benjamins when they were starting.

"Hindi siya planned. Actually, kasi when Ben&Ben started, we both knew the Benjamins. So may banda kami ni Pat. It's called Runway Hits. As in college band. Tapos we played sa La Salle. Tapos dalawa kaming artist. It was us and the Benjamins. So andun sila, Pao and Miguel. So nagkaka-hangout kami," Reoma said.

"Tapos eventually, they keep on getting me as bassist. 'Pag may mga gig sila ... 'Pag medyo bigger gig that time, biglang sa Mercato or sa mga events sa mall," she added.

Reoma added that it was during their anniversary when they got Lasaten to play for them.

"They got Pat to play keyboards. Pero hindi ko siya nire-reco. As in, they can attest to this. Wala akong sinabi na kunin niyo na si Pat as keyboardist," the bassist noted in the process of Ben&Ben making their debut tracks. 

"Every now and then, parang nanonood si Migs ng mga gigs natin. So, I think doon niya kinuha si Pat. So may gig kami nun. Anniversary namin. They didn't know actually na kami. Kasi hindi ako out, diba?" she added.

The bassist felt comfortable with the band when they revealed their milestone and celebrated it with them.

"So that day, may gig kami. Tapos anniversary namin. Tas we had to tell Tony nung time na 'yun. So eventually, everyone... Guys, anniversary pala. So, parang doon namin na-feel na safe tong group na 'to," Reoma said.

"Kasi wala akong narinig or wala akong na-feel na parang oh they judge us or something. Tapos sobrang everybody was happy and parang oh buti talagang nagsa-say yes kayo sa show na 'to even though ... Sa gig pa na 'yun parang tayo pa 'yung last band. Tapos wala nanonood sa gig na kami," she added.

While they do not hide their relationship to the public, Reoma felt they were tiptoeing in terms of talking about their relationship to others while being members of Ben&Ben.

"I think may fear din na 'di namin alam kung ano 'yung safe level with like the interviewers 'di naman namin sila kilala. Or like when we're outside sa kung saan mga studio. So we're, nandun pa din 'yung like parang fear kasi 'di nila alam eh," Reoma said.

"Actually, sa buong band nga kami ni Pat 'yung pinaka like straight women looking. Diba? So parang hindi mo din siya agad i-expect. So hindi din kami sure kung paano siya iti-take ng mga tao," she added.

"So may fear. So we always like, ano, go ng neutral. But when it comes to our old social media, and 'yung mga may gusto namang may alam, 'yung nagpa-follow lahat sa amin. So, doon naman parang … ano kami, like wala naman kaming tinatago."

While it was not Paolo Benjamin's to write the song about queer love, Lasaten felt "Paninindigan Kita" resonated with her, saying: "Ako na-feel ko lang medyo nag-gravitate talaga ako towards the song. Tapos hindi namin alam na 'yun pala 'yung nagfe-feel namin."

"Nung naririnig ko 'yung song wala akong attachment to it na or nag-re-reflect ako na ako 'yun. Wala akong ganun like connection to it actually pero I think after when we were doing na 'yung everything parang nag-mamake sense," Reoma recalled.

They also had the opportunity to be the model of the cover art of the song.

"Holding hands lang kayo d'yan. Tapos parang may nakasabit kayo sa MRT. So actually, si Pau at Migs yung unang pinicturean. Tapos habang ginagawa ko siya, parang naging joke. Oh, Pat, Agnes, try niyo. Para lang, ti-nry namin for fun tapos," Reoma said.

"So may dalawang version si Pau at Migs, tapos kaming dalawa. Eventually, dapat ano lang siya. Ang tawag doon? Model lang siya. But then, ginawa nila siyang kaming dalawa talaga," she added.

This ignited the idea of including their love story in the music video, which Lasaten felt could go in two ways.

"Ang dami kong iniisip. And then, when we talked about it sa van. Meron akong naf-feel na mabigat, na magaan din at the same time, I guess. Para siyang mabigat kasi hala parang solid 'to pero at the same time, nakakatakot siya. Ako nag-yes ako. Feeling ko parang sinasabi sa akin ng universe na kung gagawin mo to? Okay 'to. Solid to. Maraming mata-touch dito," Lasaten said.

"So, despite the fear na nafe-feel ko, there's also this feeling na parang shucks. Kapag ginawa ka to, lots of people would be able to see themselves in our relationship. Kasi, I mean, you know about representation and all of that stuff. Pero, grabe nakakatakot talaga e," she added.

"Parang siyang ganun eh. 'Yung hindi naman, we didn't ask for it. It just, it just happened. As in, parang walang resistance. Walang kahit anong resistance from the universe. Walang nagsa-stop."

Reoma admired Lasaten's bravery to push through with the project as leads in the music video and agreed to be the face of the song.

"Si Pat kasi naging brave siya. And alam ko siya din naman 'yung parang between us, siya din 'yung may family na parang hindi pa kami sure kung tanggap ba talaga tayo nu'n. So, nung nag-yes siya and game siya na harapin 'yung buong challenge na rin. Sabi ko, okay lang din, I think it's about time. Kasi, ilang taon? Seven years na din kami nung time na 'yun," Reoma said.

When the music video was released, Reoma admitted that she was afraid to dive into the comments and just wanted to celebrate their milestone as a couple. 

"Actually, medyo hindi namin siya na-expect. Kasi, I don't know, maybe it's just part of being in the queer community din na every now and then, parang, mas nag-lean ka sa, baka hindi natin tayo accept or baka may hate comment siya," the bassist said.

"Parang, mas nasanay ka na meron siyang ganun. So, when we, like, put it out na, after, kasi ako din yung parang mas, ano eh, ah, nagpo-post sa mga fans, ganyan. After nung i-post yung MV, naalala ko na, I think two days lang hindi masyado nakipag-interact sa mga social media," she added.

"Takot nga ako na parang baka mag-comment si ganito. Or like even strangers nga parang it still hurts na biglang may makita kang comment na ganon.Hindi ako, as in bigla akong nag-hunch off. Ayoko munang makita lahat. Kasi ayokong, gusto ko munang i-celebrate 'yung nangyari na parang we were able to tell our story that way and naging brave kami so parang yun muna. So ayoko muna siyang magkaroon ng any bahid of like, oh may hateful comment."

Lasaten and Reoma were surprised that they received a good reception and thanked the fans of Ben&Ben for being open with their story.

"We were really surprised and I think sobrang blessed din kami in that sense. Kasi it could have gone differently eh pero I think sobrang thankful din kami sa community ng, Ben&Ben.

"Kasi at least 'yung mga Liwanags din parang same sila na how we like, see things, accept things," Reoma said

"And like mas understanding sila. Kasi hindi naman lahat sila bakla, di ba? Pero like, they understand na kung, kung ano 'to. So, pwede naman palang hindi isipin yung worst. Ganun," she added. 

"It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be talaga. Yun … I secretly still watch it every now and then," Lasaten said.

READ: Ben&Ben surprises newlywed couple at reception

FIGHTING BESIDE EACH OTHER

After the music video, Reoma felt the weight of the responsibility they have now as queer figures in the industry.

"Kasi tayo medyo mas nasa spotlight. Na 'yun 'yung difference I guess but kaya like parang with the MV din and tayo din 'yung naging … cute niya rin e yung parang after nung MV sa lahat like series of gigs right after it may mga nakikita kaming flags," Reoma said.

"Like hundred percent may naka-pride flag tapos may nagbibigay sa amin ng flag ng time na 'yun … Hindi naman namin na expect na magiging ano ba 'to, like we're campaigning. Kasi we saw it naman nung we did the MV, mas ano s'ya, like it's a love story. Hindi siya masyadong nalalayo," she added.

For Lasaten, it was a big responsibility to be representatives of the LGBT community and she hopes that they are doing their best.

"That doesn't mean that we take it lightly, just because hindi namin siya iniisip kasi when you when you verbalized it kanina sobrang shocks ang bigat. Kasi parang feeling ko bawal na ako magmura ganyan pero hindi naman," the keyboardist said.

"Pero like I just hope na we're doing a good job, I guess. I mean as human as we are, I'm sure like somewhere down the road baka may masabi kaming mali or something but I hope we're doing good so far," she added.

With their story, Reoma hopes that people would see that queer love is just the same as love between a man and a woman.

READ: Ben&Ben in 'season of creating' new music

"When I see messages from fans every now and then, na they look up to us nga. Kasi nga kami nga 'yung parang nagkikita nila ng representation ganyan, I just want us both to like show them na we can live ng normal. Actually 'yun 'yung mas gusto kong makita nila e," Reoma said. 

"Hindi s'ya kailangan maging special na ... I mean like s'yempre like love is special but I don't want them to see it na parang ang dami pang kailangan gawin or mangyari para lang ma-celebrate yung queer love," she added.

Ultimately, Lasaten and Reoma hope that their stories would help others have the courage to embrace their queerness.

"Like ako growing up, I really, really hope na may ganun din kalakas nung time na 'yun. So, yung seven years ko siguro naging like seven days or seven weeks. Alam mo 'yun 'yung pagtanggap ko sa sarili ko. Alam ko lang na dapat husband and wife … if there's something else, kahit na may feelings ako for Pat at that time, hindi ko siya malagay sa picture sa future kasi hindi siya nag-exist in my head Kasi wala ko nakikita sa movies or wala naririnig na songs about it," Reoma said.

"Tapos, 'yun 'yung sobrang nakakataba ng puso ngayon. Kasi all artists are being proud na and nagiging brave. So parang sana magtuloy-tuloy lang talaga siya. And eventually, I really hope parang magiging publicly mas accepted siya. And then we'll come to a point na magiging legal na yung same-sex marriage," she added.

"I'm so very happy that queer kids today get to watch 'yung mga ganitong films. At mas marami na sila ngayon. I mean, when I'm reflecting about it, like, very important siya. To a kid na mag-isa," Lasaten said.

Months after the music video's release, Lasaten and Reoma got engaged, further proof that love has no gender.