View this post on Instagram

A post shared by ✧･ﾟ: *𝚙𝚎𝚊𝚌𝚑𝚢𝚙𝚒𝚎* : ･ﾟ✧ (@peachytwice) on Feb 16, 2020 at 8:40am PST

MANILA – Peachy Bonifacio Santos is mourning the death of her boyfriend, Filipino YouTube vlogger Emman Nimedez, who passed away on Sunday.

In a lengthy Facebook post, Santos admitted grappling for strength to go on with life with him.

“Sobrang sakit mahal, sobra. Nadudurog na 'ko. Pero kakayanin ko at babangon ako sa tamang panahon,” she said.

“Natatakot ako mag-isa sa totoo lang. Dahil lahat ng ginawa ko nand'yan ka sa tabi ko para gabayan ako sa lahat ng bagay. Masakit dahil 'yung huling sinabi mo sa 'kin bago mangyari lahat ay ‘mahal kita.’ Itatatak ko sa puso at isip ko 'to.”

Since he passed away, Santos said there has never been a day that she is not thinking of Nimedez.

“Walang segundo or minuto na 'di ka nawawala sa utak ko. Mahal sobrang sakit, sobra sobra, kung pwede ko lang ibalik sa dati gagawin ko kung pwede lang makuha ko lahat ng sakit gagawin ko,” she said.

She then thanked her late boyfriend the four years they were together.

“Pinaranas mo sa 'kin 'yung totoong pagmamahal. 4 na taon na napakasaya ng buhay ko. 4 na taon na puro pagmamahal at walang kasawaang suporta galing sa 'yo,” she said.

“Sinanay mo ko na lagi kang nand'yan. 'Di mo ko iniwan at alam ko pangako nating dalawa 'yun sa isa't isa na 'di natin iiwan ang bawat isa. Ikaw ang greatest love ko,” she added.

Santos also vowed to continue ticking off the things in their bucket list, even if she would have to do them alone.

In the end, Santos said she is hoping Nimedez could visit her in her dreams.

“Please lang pumunta ka naman sa panaginip ko kahit isang yakap at halik lang at sabihin mo sa 'kin na ‘kaya mo yan’ magiging sobrang saya ko na. Kakayanin ko at babangon ko sa tamang panahon,” she said.

“Mahal na mahal kita baba... Dito ka lang sa tabi ko ha. Maraming salamat mahal ko. Magpakasal na lang tayo sa heaven para si Lord pa magkakasal sa 'tin.”

Nimedez, who rose to fame for his parody videos of K-drama shows, died after a battle with acute myeloid leukemia.

Nimedez, who has more than 2 million subscribers on his YouTube channel, first revealed his battle with cancer last May in his vlog.