MANILA – Model Janica Nam Floresca poured her heart out in an open letter she made for her former boyfriend, the late Hashtags member Franco Hernandez.

Three years since his death, Floresca looked back at their relationship and how his passing left her devastated.

“Dear Franco, kumusta ka na? Peaceful at masaya siguro d’yan no? It’s been a while. Tatlong taon na pala. Umaasa pa ako dati na sana hindi ito totoo, sana may miracle pa at babalik ka. Sobrang hirap nu’ng nawala ka. Bawat pikit ng mga mata ko, umuulit-ulit lang sa utak ko lahat ng nangyari at para akong nalulunod ulit,” she said.

“Dala-dala ko sa isip ko lahat ng sana at siguro — na sana kung mas naging malakas pa ako, siguro naligtas pa kita. Minsan tinatanong ko sa sarili ko, how can I stay strong? How can I continue to smile and be happy? How can I continue life when half of me left with you?”

Floresca said everyone around her knew how happy she was because of Hernandez.

“I’ve always thought that I’d be spending the rest of my life with you. But you spent the rest of your life with me and I’m thankful for that. I’m thankful that I was the last person you loved. Even if it was just for a short amount of time, I knew it was real,” she said.

Floresca then detailed how she eventually became okay as she coped with the tragic loss.

“Alam kong maraming nagtataka kung bakit ang tagal kong maging okay. Pero sa totoo lang, hindi mo masusukat ang tagal ng sakit na naiwan sa 'yo. My love for you was the only thing that kept me going. Kasi alam kong gusto mong kayanin ko.

“Nakatulong din sa 'kin 'yung suporta galing sa mga taong kahit hindi ko naman kilala, kahit simple messages lang nila, sobrang nakakataba ng puso.

“Nand'yan din 'yung family and friends ko para samahan ako. Alam kong hindi rin naging madali para sa kanila pero never nila akong iniwan. At higit sa lahat, si God. Kahit sobrang nahihirapan na ako, alam kong hindi Niya ako pinabayaan.”

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Floresca said Hernandez’s presence taught her how to be strong, but his absence taught her how to be stronger.

After taking her time, Floresca said she is now ready to move forward knowing that Hernandez would also want her to be happy.

“Mas handa ako na akong magpatuloy ulit. Mas handa na akong kilalanin ang sarili ko at kung ano pa 'yung mga kaya kong gawin. Mas handa na akong sumabak sa buhay na akala ko hangganan na. Mas handa na ako,” she said.

She then thanked her late boyfriend for looking after her all these years.

“You don't have to worry about me, Franco. Okay na ako,” she said. “I will never forget the memories we've made because it was never about our ending. It was about the journey and I am thankful for the time that was given to us. Ngayon, ready na ako to move forward and live life with a stronger and happier version of myself.”

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