Jackie Forster turned her Instagram account into her online diary last February 20 and recounted her “miserable life” with former husband Benjie Paras.

Jackie started her narration with the many “signs” that supposedly showed her then-boyfriend-turned-husband was less than her ideal early on in their relationship and marriage back when she was just 15.

She narrated the times that Benjie supposedly failed to fulfill his part as a husband and a father to their sons which led her to call their marriage a “miserable life.”

Knowing that many would probably view her ranting as unnecessary, Jackie asked for respect early on citing that, “This is the only way I have left that is mine and cannot be edited.”

The barrage of posts, Jackie claimed, is her way of inspiring other women in similar situations and to prove her children Kobe and Andre Paras that she has always reached out to them.

Love child and dishonesty

Jackie revealed that the first two years of their marriage was marred with secrecy and dishonesty.

“He would often times go missing and would turn off his cellphone so he was unreachable. Yes even during the times I was pregnant. I would find out later he went to see his love child,” she began.

According to Jackie, she never met the kid.

“It hurt me a lot and even if it was tough on me at a young age and as insecure as I was, when we would go on trips I would still buy the kid loads of clothes or some toys to show my ‘acceptance’ to the situation but never in our five years + together would I ever meet her,” she wrote.

Jackie had been speaking with the child’s grandmother as she recounted, “In the beginning an older woman would call our home asking for him in a demanding way. I always wondered why she was rude to me. This was the woman’s mom.”

She added, “The story given to me was that the woman he had a child with was just a ‘malanding babae’ na one night stand and then demanded money from him otherwise marriage.”

Jackie claimed that the same description is what Benjie and his current wife are spreading about her even stressing the “pattern.”

New wife

Previous reports have noted that both Kobe and Andre are angry with Jackie, with them even saying that they consider their stepmother as their real mother now.

According to Jackie, this idea was supposedly implanted by Benjie and his new wife into the minds of her kids.

Apparently she and her current husband hold the same views. “And since she studied psychology - I guess they are right. Walang mali si Benjie. Ako lahat ang may problema. Nasaakin lahat ng issues. So together they unite to make sure my children see me this way. So matter what I say or do. I'm a bad woman and not fit to be a mother,” she lamented.

For years, Jackie had been quiet about the real story behind the collapse of her marriage with Benjie. It was only last year when she started becoming vocal on social media about wanting to rekindle ties with her estranged sons.

As if to answer why she has only decided to reveal her side of the story now, she posted, “Because that kid is now an adult, Andre is now a working young man and Kobe is now on his way to doing great things with his life. They now have the choice to do what is right and they have every right to know these things that may have been kept from them for years. I believe in being truthful no matter how painful and in timing. It’s been way too long. I am glad I finally have more burdens lifted. I am happy I’m no longer ashamed or afraid.”

Saying that she has “nothing to lose now” Jackie continued, “For years I kept quiet for everybody else’s sake, taking all the criticism and wanting to protect their young hearts from even more pain. As I move on with my life I just want those 3 children to know I cared about them more than I did myself it’s just time to make amends with our past. Keeping all these things took a toll on me a long time ago and lead to some self-destructive ways. Mostly I wanted to forget the pain and just find someone who would love me.”

In parting Jackie said, “So never judge people, everybody is indeed going through something we may know nothing about.”

Main Photo credit to jackie_forster IG